Q & A with Dr. Graham
Q How do friendships and family relationships change with marriage?
A When you get married, all other relationships should change. A man’s priority is his relationship with and commitment to his wife, and vice versa. Yes, you’re supposed to honor your parents and respect them. But you’re to leave them and establish a new home, and “hold fast” to your spouse as you become “one flesh” (Genesis 2:24). Yes, it’s vital to have good friends, but your best friend should be your spouse.
Q How important is friendship within a marriage?
A A great marriage is built upon a great friendship – not sex, as the world would have you believe. Sure, sex is a vital part of the marriage union, a blessing and gift from God. But a successful marital relationship should be based on friendship first. You must be friends before you become lovers. You’ll see the beautiful intimacy that comes with that in Song of Solomon 5, especially in verse 16 where the bride says, “This is my beloved and this is my friend.” It’s one thing to divorce a spouse, but it’s almost impossible to divorce your best friend. A great marriage is made up of two friends sticking together, fusing together, cleaving together.