What do women really want?

April 29, 2020 by Dr. Jack Graham

Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.

–Ephesians 5:25

What is it that women really want? The late Gary Smalley, the noted Christian author and marriage counselor, once gave nine specific needs of a wife in the marriage relationship:

1. A wife, one, needs to feel that she is first place in her husband’s life above all other people. 

2. A wife needs to feel that her husband is willing to share an intimate moment of comfort without demanding explanation or giving lectures.

3. A wife’s need for communication is constant. 

4. A wife longs to be praised so she can feel valuable. 

5. A wife wants to feel free to correct her husband without fear of retaliation or anger. 

6. A wife needs to know that her husband will defend and protect her. 

7. A wife wants to know that her opinion is so valuable that her husband will discuss decisions with her, evaluate her advice, and then act upon it. 

8. A wife needs to share her life with her husband in every area: home, family, and outside interests. 

9. A wife wants her husband to be the kind of man her son can follow and her daughter would want to marry.

A woman wants a man who understands her. She wants a husband who will undergird her with emotional, spiritual, and physical support. So men, love your wives in such a self-giving way that they get that. When you do, your marriage will flourish and be filled with God’s blessings!


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